What is the difference? Is what you might be asking yourself, honesty is honesty is honesty… well, that’s what I had thought at first, but through my process of self-investigation I have found that the two are not the same at all.
When I speak of honesty, I am referring to the system honesty, the “regular” honesty that I knew before I was ever introduced to the self-honesty process of the Desteni “I” Process (DIP), so I am assuming that this type of honesty is what we all pretty much think of when we hear the word “honesty”.
Honesty is a social thing, you are honest with other people, you expect others to be honest with you, it has become a moral standard – you judge people in regards to their level of honesty/dishonesty. Honesty has become a point of polarity, where you can compare yourself to others through the level of your honesty and can be morally superior or inferior to another. Honesty holds within it point of manipulation by being honest to someone specific, making them feel special by for instance sharing a secret only with them, and within the point of secret there is the point of holding power over another. As all other polarity constructs, honesty holds within it the other side of the polarity as dishonesty / deception, so by participating with honesty we are in fact creating and allowing the other side of the polarity to exist as well.
Self-honesty is when I am honest with self; it’s not about being honest with another thus no polarity and no manipulation possible within self-honesty, self-honesty does not stand as a moral value so cannot be manipulated and judged as such.
Self-honesty is when I am looking within myself, allowing myself to actually see the “who I am” in every moment, self-honesty is about taking self-responsibility, it’s about bringing everything back to self from the realization that everything I am experiencing is me showing myself back to self, self-honesty is the realization that I am the one that can figure myself out, and I have what it takes to self-realize, self-honesty is building self-trust and creating self-intimacy. Self-honesty is realizing I am not the mind, and I am not defined by the components of the mind such as thoughts / emotions / feelings / ideas/ beliefs / opinions / fears / blame / justification… thus within self-honesty I will not allow myself to be directed by nor define myself as any of these mind components.
Within self-honesty you realize you are not the mind, but either is anyone else, you start to realize the equality and oneness that we have been hiding from ourselves in the names of our individualized ego – thus within self-honesty you direct yourself by the principle of supporting all life, equal and one, moving yourself from a starting point of what is best for all, equally, and not from a starting point of self-interest based on ego
Self-honesty is to allow yourself to see points of dishonesty within self, and to allow yourself to forgive yourself, to let go the self-judgment and blame you have towards the points, thus self-honesty allows you to let go the past and walk as the correction, self-honesty allows you to change, thus be here as breath, alive.
Let me give you an everyday example. Honesty, for instance, could come up when I am very mad at a person for doing something, and I honestly want them to fuck off. So in this case I could explode and shout at them to fuck off, and I will feel good about myself for being honest about how I feel, “I was sharing and expressing my feelings honestly”… so in thin case I was projecting, blaming and attacking the other person, while justifying myself and making myself feel good because I am being honest about my feelings and reactions…
So now let me look at this scenario from my new cool lenses of self-honesty – within self-honesty, the moment I see I am reacting towards the person I would firstly stop and breathe, I would see that I am experiencing anger and blame towards them. Within self-honesty I would realize that my anger is showing me a point about myself that I still haven’t allowed myself to see, a part of myself I am still separating from self, a part of myself I am too ashamed to look at, perhaps because of the moral values I have towards this point.
Applying self-honesty, I am supporting myself within breath, allowing myself to open up this point, supporting myself with self-forgiveness to embrace myself and all aspects of myself within self-forgiveness. This process allows me to stop the focus I had on the other person and turn the focus back to self, and look within myself. Through utilizing this process I will probably not attack the person with the abusive “fuck off” and could (but not necessarily) share that I experienced an energetic reaction and I realize that I am showing myself a point within self.
Sharing this point openly could be seen as honesty, and that’s cool, honesty can co-exist with self-honesty – but it’s important to understand the point that self-honesty is the basis for real honesty, honesty without self-honesty is just supporting our self-manipulation, self-deception and accepted and allowed separation, which tend to create abusive behavior. And we can see the destructive results of system-honesty in the world all around us.
So to sum it up, self-honesty is between you and yourself, therefore there is no separation and polarity in this equation. You do not have to be system-honest to be self-honest, but you must be self-honest to be really honest.
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The DIP is a training based on all the information that has been accumulated in the past few years, it is the best self-help tool out there – guaranteed!!!!!
enjoy the ride…